HK Hebe Hackers CC vs HKCC Taverners Match Day 3 – Post-Match Proceedings

At the post-match proceedings, seeking more material for this report, The Nav cornered the ‘Taverners’ Antipodean Skipper ‘George’, and sought information about key protagonists of the victorious ‘Taverners’. Apart from ‘The Judge’ and ‘Krakatoa’ so described earlier and later in this epic, there was ‘VFF’ Eric – so named not because he worked in radio telecommunications, but because his bowling of that leather missile was ‘Very F**king Fast’. Also Rod ‘The Grocer’, a very successful local British businessman in supermarkets and retailing, prone to delivering to the opposition exactly what they ordered. A true stalwart on the cricket field, grounding out a very respectable score of runs this May Day, thus allowing the other matinee idols of the ‘Taverners’ to come in and score 4s and 6s at their leisure – unhindered by that nemesis of all one-day cricketers – that of ‘overs remaining’

And so the players emptied the beer cooler, had their showers, grabbed some BBQ scoff, and sat down for an hour or two of ‘bad boys bonhomie’, shooting the breeze about massive 6s, fearsome 4s, dropped catches, and plays of the day. Indeed the Nav, busily blogging on his blackberry, scribbling on his stationery, and photographing with his Casio Exilim in preparation for this report – all the while using his left eye to make cricketing calls from ‘Foolish Cover’ – had the time to note the plays’ of the day for each team. These are shared now with you our loyal reader

For the ‘Hackers’, ‘The Purser’ when at 1 wicket for 83 runs and just when the team were moving themselves to DEFCON 4, he took a diving catch of a leather missile fired from a wowitzer directly at deep mid-on, over his right shoulder, eyes straight up towards Venus, both his arms outstretched as if pleading to his wife for another pink pass, cap flying and hair flailing in the torbid HK air, taking an incredibly valuable 2nd wicket. Although The Nav was technically a non-combatant standing in the neutral part of the oval delineated as ‘Switzerland’, even he found himself clapping

For the ‘Taverners’, 'Krakatoa' Kieran and his towering 3 consecutive sixes directed at deep square leg, each and all strategically landing right in the small 2nd floor Chater Tavern verandah, some 90 metres from the bat! Some review of the rules by The Nav after he noticed two carefully placed paid up members of the 'Taverners Tribe' Fan Club - variously dressed in pink or blue t-shirts as 'target markers' - carefully being field positioned on the verandah by the unseen 'Taverners' sub to ensure none of the shots were caught

And the quotes of the day – often spoken at life or deaf moments in sport, but dismissed as mere banter by many :-

‘Hackers’ ‘Trev’, fielding at the deep fine leg boundary, upon seeing ‘Smerdo’s’ ‘Bean Ball’ at an opposing ‘Taverners’ batsman, yelled out in a sledge-like Ocker accent “Go on, give him another!” Cracking competitors these cricketers ! (Capn’s Ed Note : A ‘Bean Ball’ is a ball bowled which bounces up to head height of the opposition batsman. If it connects with the head, two things can happen. Either a) death or b) rest-of-life hallucinations)

‘Hackers’ ‘Trev’ again, on being advised that a petty burglar had been snatching cash and credit cards from people in the HKCC club house, checked his wallet and commented “Jeez, if they got my Igor’s [restaurants loyalty] card I’d be in trouble!”

Oh what drama, what an event, what a show! At the end, no matter the result, the winner on the day was Cricket. The Nav being his usual entrepreneurial self, did see a massive opportunity to fly in the India Premier League Cricket Cheerleaders for Match Day 4, with visions of the venerable HKCC Club House filled to the gunwales with screaming, whistling, testosterone fuelled young men - most of them Hindus from the mean streets of Mongkok - drinking keg loads of 'Kingfisher Beer' and 'eating the club out of house and korma'. On reflection, The Nav decided to file this idea and float it to the Captains' on another day, conscious that he would probably either be assassinated by the extreme right wing Hindu Nationalist Party, or be black-balled from the HKCC - a club he isn't even a member of. The Nav had visions of reporting the ‘Taverners’ vs ‘Hackers’ on Match Day 4 from behind the 50 metre tall netting fence that surrounds the HKCC oval. Probably across on other side of the main Wong Nai Chung Gap Road. Next to the Esso station

So this memorable Match Day 3 closed in a warm spring HK evening, everyone winding down, already reminiscing about the good, the bad, and the illegal in this match to remember. Following the scoffing, the Captains’ made their speeches, swapped gifts and thanks - eyeing each other already for ‘Taverners’ versus ‘Hackers’ the rematch of the rematch of the rematch. For The Nav today was one he would never forget, the day he acted as an official ‘assistant’ to the real Match Day decision-makers, marching backwards and forwards between overs to take position on the opposite side of the wicket, so involved in the game that he busily paced out his distance from the edge of the pitch - 33 paces on the club house side, and 34 paces on the island side. Precise, engrossing stuff this cricket. And despite all the statistics that this game can throw up – runs scored, wickets taken, catches caught, boundaries hit, stumpings achieved – one indelible statistic would remain with The Nav. In two innings and a total of 64 overs and 3 balls bowled, as square leg umpire at ‘Foolish Cover’, The Nav made just one decision. But that’s Cricket – and he Loved it !

Until his next mission – possibly more brooding about boxes

This is The Nav. Out