Targa Tasmania 2008 Day 7 – A Mauling in Moorina

Another 5am Reveille somehow achieved, we arrived at the Velodrome at 6am, noting even the morning call birds were still sleeping, The Nav commented with irony that "Great, we're the first to arrive." to which Skip ripostes "Yeah, next year we'll enter the 'Rookie Rallye' just to be able to sleep in!" (Skipper's Ed Note : Unlike The Tour which the HKTT are currently competing in - for such prizes as a bottle of decent Taswegian red wine for being the biggest 'Larrikin' team - The Rookie Rallye is an introductory rally, with its start later each day, where new competitors go at the course at full speed and are timed, with formal prizes at the end of the week) Trusty Nav, ruminating on this, considered the logic of spending AUD $50,000 for an extra hour in bed each day, but still started mentally planning, with first task on the list being preparing a costs budget on the plane back to HK for the Skipper

Skipper moved the car up to the start line and became ashen-faced as he noticed the ‘Zero Alcohol’ Constabulary Officer waiting at the gate to breathalize Skip before departure. He nervously commented to The Nav about having several full strength Taswegian Boag’s beer and a glass of terrific Taswegian red wine last night. The Nav smugly considered his 2 glasses of Cascade Premium Light beer and a litre of water, and sat with anticipation of the fun to come. In a flash, Skipper's face lit up with a cunning idea, and as the blow straw was withdrawn from his mouth, Skip quipped to the Constable "Ah, their may be a bit of residual muesli on that pipe constable; you could pass it on to our packet team car behind. I don't think that they had time for breakfast"

Then we were off, with closed road runs through such knee-shakers as 'The Sideling', 'Moorina', 'Weldborough Pass Long', and 'Pyengana' (Skipper's Ed Note : Anyone who can pronounce that last place correctly when we see you will receive an autographed Targa poster), and on to lovely St Helens by the sea. Enjoying a similar boxed lunch to the day before, while consuming it the Skipper urged The Nav not to touch the piece of cake in our lunchboxes "else it'll bl**dy well kill ya mate!" Nav thinking that, with another 3 days of M3 and the Targa through the icy mountains and wet ravines of South-Western Taswegia, concluded - what chance one muffin !?

The HKTT met John and Audrey in St Helens. Lovely retired couple originally from the midlands in England; passionate Citroen enthusiasts. John and Skipper discussed Citroen being major automotive innovators, including solid gas hydraulic suspension systems, and driver wheel - cabling - front headlight moving control systems etc. With some reflection The Nav chimed in that the Citroen engineering development meetings must have been fun, with the engineers heading of for long afternoons of several bottles of French vin de pays rouge with fromage and then a siesta if faced with a truely compelling engineering problem. Later, the Skipper really put his foot in it when admiring a Jupiter, commenting to the owner that it had a good looking Volkswagen engine, and being verbally clipped around the ear when the indignant owner replied "It's a ******* Jowett." The Nav commented "What the ******* a Jowett ?"

After lunch, our Packet drove down the beautiful eastern Tasmanian coast, Skip at one stage dropping into 3rd and leaping past a Nissan Tida - possibly his first passing manouever in Taswegia so far - leaving the Nav short of breath. Then it was up the ‘Elephant Saddle’ closed road stage for another neck whipping, tongue chomping, eyeball blazing scream around yet another Taswegian forest. After the past few days Packet 2 has had some casualties, including a 500 (!!!) break horse power 1998 Lotus Esprit (2 spinouts and a wrecked front - funny that) (Skipper's Ed Note : for all of you out there, Toyota Corolla's have about 100 to 110 break horse power), a 1986 Porsche 911 Targa (electrics problems), a 5 Litre V8 1990 Mercedes 500 SL Sports (bit slow) and almost today a Supercharged BMW Z4 convertible driven by new mates Skipper Ian and Nav Davo from Queensland

Trouble was that Skipper Ian insisted that Davo drive this most dangerous of closed stages. What Ian hadn't factored in was 3 BMW M3s pushing right up the Z4's proverbial all the way up the course, one of which being the man you never want to have in a blind spot behind you, the legendary HKTT Skipper. At the end of the stage, the poor old Z4 limped into the finish area, having been 'forced' into the soggy muddy hillside after a blind corner, with the 3 M3s screaming by. Nav made a concerned comment about Z4 crew's safety, but Skip doused the concern by replying "Rubbish. We should've slammed him in the rear and finished him off properly! That would have made his day!"

After a couple of days on the road, single biggest issue is where to 'lighten the load' after all the coffee, tea, water and juice tanked up before each day commences. Problem really hit home in the town of Moorina, very early morning, a light frost on the ground, and more steam than Yellowstone's Old Faithful rising gently from the Tasmanian forests, as assorted race teams took their turn in the undergrowth. Consequently, Skip and Nav started discussing a new business opportunity in depth, that of introducing ‘Moving Loo’ bottles in each Targa race pack next year - branded 'Toys R Us' as a plaything too difficult to put down

And what about Moorina. A beautiful town, with a golf course, a classic cricket oval and grandstand on the outskirts of town worthy of the 'Hong Kong Hebe Hackers', and a long bridge over the Ringarooma River before Skip and The Nav faced the mauling 'Moorina' closed stage. 8Km's and 2 minutes later, after completing a start, two easy lefts, two easy rights, and a finish, with not one double caution or even an exclamation mark on The Nav's driving notes, Skipper thumped his chest and opined "Aw, Legendary mate !"

Back to Launceston, all chores completed, Mexican meal with the now legendary ‘Packet 2 Gang’, it was back and into bed in preparation for 5.15am start on Day 8, ready for our assault on the infamous Mount Claude. As Nav was nodding off, he hears the last words for day 7 from Skipper, "Do you realise! Our race time is in the BOTTOM 30% for the actual competition. Isn't that great !!!" Exhausted, The Nav wearily realised that Skippers and Navs are indeed hewn from different mental matter, and then he died

Until Day 8 - No speed, no fun !

The Nav. Out