Targa Tasmania 2008 Day 12 – Mourning in Melbourne

And so Day 12 dawned. Skip and Nav awake, quietly looking at cabin bunks above, sadly reflecting that this is it - the final, the fin, the end. And next moment, many, many, many minutes before the 6.15am wake-up call, we were off again. Skipper leaping out of bed, SSS&S, then sorting his AEGIS grade telecommunications system - mobiles, laptop, blackberry, bluetooth head-set - then towels, bags, clothes flung around the cabin as our ferry 'Spirit of Tasmania' edged quietly up to the Port Melbourne pier in a flat, calm, fog-bound Port Philip Bay. With items flying asunder, The Nav quietly stayed in his alcove, snoozing, waiting for the end of this the latest whirling dervish

Then we were out, coffee, breaky, and down to level G6, The Nav eagerly anticipating flying off the ferry in the turbocharged Mitsubishi Evo E9, leaving Skip and E9 owner Ernie in The Nav's wake, before finishing the timed run to the Port Melbourne esplanade with a donut right smack in front of Ernie's wife currently waiting for us. Motor ignited, into 1st, and we we're off !!!

One minute later we were finished. The Nav managed to get into 2nd gear, reaching an ear-popping 28 kmph, maneuvering successfully around the beach esplanade road main roundabout - the toughest part of this final postlog - bringing the E9 to a halt. Out of the car, good-byes to Ernie, his wife staring at the two hoons in HK knock-offs driving an M3 mumbling "Oh, Ernie. How could you!?" Then the HKTT were again away in the M3 Meschersmitt for the Spencer Street train & bus station

Up through the mean streets of South Melbourne, breaking all the road rules of Victoria - no indicators, illegal lane changing, excessive forward momentum - the pocket rocket roared. To the station, screeching to a stop in a no stopping zone, Nav and bags flung from the car. Skip grabbed the extra 20 from The Nav for last nights dinner of haute cuisine, fine wine and cheeses, and was off again waving "Later." as he accelerated from naught to 60 in seconds through the Melbourne city traffic light chicanes, missing a late model Porsche by inches as the owner sat on his horn waving fists and yelling expletives at the ‘Maniac in the M3’. Off for a date with destiny. (Skipper's Ed Note : Actually it was a very important conference call about head count for our expanding India operation)

As the old saying goes, "The more things change the more they stay the same"

The Nav sorted his bags, onto airport bus, airport check-in, through immigration and security - watching as the security staff pat down and wand an elderly Vietnames couple in their late 70's, 4 foot 9 each, chattering in frantic Vietnamese, with the airport security staff asking in louder and louder English about "liquids, flammable cans, and radioactive toothpaste?!!"

Then on to the air gate - the top of the course - to be ready for Air NZ flight 8, and tomorrow lawn bowls in Birkenhead with the my father 'Pops', continuing the theme of 'total action' - in the vein of Hitler's 'total war' - during The Nav's quiet 2 week vacation break. On the way to the air gate, yet another large sign close to the end of the airport concourse, probably encapsulating that wonderfully wicked dry humour of all Australians. It was the departure board showing specific flight's status, including – ‘Shanghai final call, Singapore final call, Ho Chi Minh Boarding, Jakarta Boarding, Los Angeles Relax, Hong Kong Relax, San Francisco Relax, Auckland Relax.’ The Nav now with new methodology to be used to reach the finish line with Skip in our next motoring odyssey through Australasia

So that's it. The end of the end. So many to thank. A roll call of names - John and George our Volvo T5 Packet 2 leaders, Geoff our overall Tour Boss, Suzanne / John (M3 Classic), Narelle / Daniel (M3 New), Ian / David (BMW Z4 Supercharged), Geoff / Toni (Porsche all wheel drive Carrera), Jim / David (Mercedes 500 SL), Richard / Helen (Porsche Boxster Convertible New), Nils / Mindy (Porsche Boxster Convertible Almost New), Scott / Helen (Porsche Targa 911 Classic), Bruce / Lyn (Lotus Esprit), and John / Jerry (Mercedes CLK Convertible). And to the wonderful people of Taswegia, for a very special event held in a very special land

In finishing, The Nav cannot remember a time when he spent so much time looking at the floor laughing, with common every day words now heard within The Nav's ear shot taking on new significance. Words' such as 'milkshake', 'Rotary', 'muesli', 'magpie' and 'hoon'

(Skipper's Ed Post Log : The yellow Mescherschmitt is now back from the mechanic sans stickers in her normal civilian attire. New shocks, suspension bushes and oils (car vino rosso) and she is singing like Pavarotti. Heading off to Bright in the morning but not before I enjoy my company funded dinner and 5-star hotel suite with seamless Sheridan bed sheets topping the most exquisite mattress and sans night time snoring opera)

That's it for now, until the Classic Adelaide 2009, or Targa Tasmania 2010, or perhaps Beijing to Paris 2013

The UK Telegraph Motoring Editor was right - everyone should plan to do this just once in their life

This IS The Nav. Out