What's Done in 30 Seconds in Thailand ?

A leading question if ever there was one, and whether you our faithful reader are a philosopher, a philanthropist, or a sado-masochist, this question could be poked, prodded, pored over and debated for hours on end with like-minded fellows and fellowesses

Is it the time it takes to prepare a legal bill for the Thai parliament to consider passing into law? Or is it the time it takes to draw-up an architectural plan for that medical health centre to serve outer Bangkok or inland Isan? Or is it the time it takes to choose or be chosen by a lady, a ‘katoy’, or an "away player" in one of Thailand's notorious red light districts ?

The Nav can assure one and all that it may be all of these, but it is more and the most significant phenomenon in modern Thailand today. For what is the 30 second act that draws so much thought and debate?

It is the time it takes for your glass to be whisked from in front of you, re-iced, re-whisky’ed, re-soda’d, and re-placed back in front of your already unstable drinking hand, within sight of your eyes which are already willing victims of double vision

In Thailand restaurants the "30 second refill" puts even 007 and his shaken martinis to shame! The Nav, being advised of this cultural “phenom” by his fellow like-handed and double-visioned Thai business partners - whilst tucking into a traditional Thai dinner - has, on occasion, methodically timed the “phenom” using his Adidas silver banded watch, with a blue face, made in Thailand, with the timer hands constantly at 00:03 when at rest or reset. And indeed the “phenom” is true! 30 seconds again, and again, and again, and again, and again. In the course of an evening where vision continued to degenerate, voices became slurred, and laughter was the lingua franca - that trusty Adidas watch did not lie. Give or take 3 seconds

Because in Thailand the liquor industry and its owner 'Barons' are King. With brands such as Black Label, 100 Pipers, Sangsom, Mekong, Chang, and Singha, all are designed and brewed to get the entire Thai population inebriated as quickly as possible. To do this, entire tertiary hotel management school classes are taught to action the "30 second refill". Graduate staff are then delegated to restaurants and hotels across the land to stand at your elbow, smile politely, and the moment your glass is 2/3 empty, to whisk it away but have it back at your finger tips at or before 30 seconds have elapsed

Were it not for this cultural “phenom”, road accidents would plunge, whole hospital A&E centres would have to close, and the Thai tax payer would be forced to save billions of Baht which would otherwise be spent on the entire Thai medical infrastructure so carefully set-up to support road carnage in this country

This is The Nav. Adidas watch in one hand and breathalyzer tester in the other