All Blacks vs Wallabies HK Rugby Bledisloe Cup Test Match - The Big One!

This is it. The Big One. The day New Zealand and Australia would play a Bledisloe Cup match outside of their home countries for the first time in history. And what a day it would prove to be

(The Nav’s Ed Note : Rugby Union's Bledisloe Cup is contested by Australia's Wallabies and New Zealand's All Blacks. It is named for Lord Bledisloe, the Governor-General of New Zealand who donated the trophy in 1931. Once played irregularly every few years, Bledisloe Cup matches now happen annually, and include 'Tri-Nations Rugby Tournament' fixtures between the two sides)

And what a location. Hong Kong. The city of lights, dodgy ‘dai pai dongs’, and never say die taxi drivers

(The Nav's Ed Note : a ‘dai pai dong’ is a local HK open air Chinese food stall. They come in all shapes, sizes, and Chinese cuisine types but they do have one common thread - lashings of Monosodium Glutamate or MSG for short)

After a night on the tiles celebrating Halloween, The Nav awoke to a raging hangover, a mouth that felt like a quarry, and a sense of trepidation about the drinking ahead, because like theatre, rugby is about 4 hours of imbibing in a pre-match build-up, 80 minutes play on the field, and then 8 hours of imbibing afterwards

Having managed to scrounge a ‘Gold Ticket’ to the game from his South African mate - hereto named ‘Yahps’ - who had a high profile in HK rugby, The Nav also managed to scrounge his way into "The Long Lunch" at the Hong Kong Football Club (HKFC) through his other high profile Irish mate hosting the event - hereto named ‘Murphs’

And it was a very long lunch. Almost four hours of beer and rugby stories and banter, interspersed with quite a bit of bad language and as always a magnificent buffet put on by the HKFC. Barbs flew, banter was sharp, and generally good-natured abuse was the theme for the event. But all in all rugby and the Hong Kong food service industry were the winners on the day.

After “The Long Lunch”, The Nav scrounged his way into the New Zealand ‘Sacred Hill Winery’ hospitality VIP area through his good mate ‘Gav’ - a doyen of high living in HK; he of the beige Chinos, first class air travel, and the mantra "Style is Everything!" Several speakers and more beers later, it was time. Time for The Nav to wander his way up to his seat. His mate ‘Yahps’ had said "Great seat man! It’s right on the half-way line so you'll have a great view!". What ‘Yahps’ had forgotten to tell The Nav was to bring oxygen! Up stairs, then escalators, then walkways, through a long tunnel a la the Rome coliseum, then even more stairs climbed, and there it was - section 308, row 29, seat 13. Several hundred feet up

Although The Nav didn't have that telescope normally carried with all of his global navigation maps, equipment, and paraphernalia, the view was stunning and the atmosphere electric. What made the game even better was the banter The Nav discoursed with his new mates Isaac, Patrick, and Benjamin from the Rainbow Nation - late of the Pretoria Rugby Footbal Club. Membership 480

These fab lads had flown up Thursday that week just to see history made, and were flying back to South Africa on the following Monday. A lot of general rugby talk happened, analysis of pros and cons of each of our home nation's rugby playing capabilities - but mostly admiration for the others sporting prowess. We did agree on one thing. Both our countries hate losing to the Aussies. It also transpired that they also knew ‘Yahps’ and had got their tickets - sans that oxygen - through him as well. During the banter The Nav enquired about how these lads were enjoying Hong Kong's legendary night-life

The Nav

"Did you have a big night out last night?"

Isaac

"Yes."

The Nav

"What time did you get home?"



Isaac

"I don't know, I didn't look."

The Nav

"Was the sun shining this morning?"

Isaac

"I don't know I didn't look?"

And so the game commenced. Backwards and forwards, across and over, the game swayed from end to end. Until after 80 minutes the mighty All Blacks proved victorious 19 - 14 over the magnificent Wallabies. And then it was on for dinner at the world famous Fung Shing Chinese Restaurant, Ground Floor, 30 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay. Previously named 'The Pine and Bamboo', but called 'The Rat and Cockroach' by one of The Nav's dining buddies because of its great food, dodgy kitchen, and low ceilings

Several hours later, the wine rack emptied, a Maori Haka performed and scaring away all the Cantonese custom, with conversations completed that would never be remembered, this band of rugby roustabouts enjoyed that one thing that brings all rugby-heads together - a sing-a-long. Thankfully the restaurant staff had all gone home and there was just the poor security guard hiding in the back alley. Being a table of Kiwis, Aussies, English, and Irish, the singing was passionate but at times bellicose, with at one stage one wag calling -

Wag

“Sing Mick, Sing!”

Mick

"Oh no, but I'm making sh*t up."

Wag

“But you're an Australian! You make alot of sh*t up!"

Finally the meal was finished, the diners were done-in, and we all made our way home to the four corners of Hong Kong. Tomorrow was another day and another story about life in this town of “Buzz”. But this night The Nav would sleep well knowing that the All Black’s had vanquished the Old Wallaby foe, and life would again be fine on the morrow

This is The Nav. Happy to have knocked those Ocker buggers from their high chairs

All That is Wonderful About Halloween in Hong Kong

Hong Kong was recently voted the "most desirable travel hub in the world", where people traveling from Lagos to London or Buenos Aires to Boston would most love to hub through Hong Kong - albeit on the longest 'dog legs' known in air travel

And just why would this be? Well if you live in Hong Kong or have stayed here for a time you will agree that this ex British crown colony and now tributory of Beijing has more of one thing than any other city in the world - "Buzz"

Day and night and day things are happening, people are transiting, business is being transacted, sports is being competed in, and people are eating, drinking, gambling, and making love. Not necessarily in that order

It is truly Asia's world city. Where Gweilo ‘Taipans’ and China ‘Tycoons’ rub shoulders and eat roasted duck or yum char in local ‘Dai Pai Dongs’ with their office cleaner, or security guard, or friend's driver just over on the next table. It is a truly egalitarian society where the only measure that is made is your wealth, but more importantly how hard you work and what you can contribute

The Nav loves the HK 7's, sailing on the harbour, golf at Kai Sai Chau, shopping in Shenzen, partying in "The Fong" and "The Wanch"; the live theatre, the country parks, the beaches, the seafood, those dai pai dongs, and everything else about this geopraphically small city that punches way above its weight. But recently what he has really appreciated is how some foreign imports are helping to gel, glue, and gratify the Hong Kong population as one

There are the fireworks over Central and Disneyland, the marine attractions at Ocean Park, the harbour cruises, the night junk trips, the evening tram parties, the seafood restaurants on Llama island, and so much more besides. But Halloween "grabs" Hong Kong but once a year - literally by the short and curlies

The Nav asks what other party in the world allows you to dress up, party hard, and walk over to someone you really fancy and whisper in her (or often in this city his) ear "Hi, you'd never guess it from what I'm wearing, but I'm a horny devil !" without being slapped, smacked, or if you are inclined to be mano a mano - thumped

30 years ago there was only Cantonese food and ‘Jimmy's Kitchen’ - with some 'international' cuisine thrown in at the high-end hotels like ‘Toad in the Hole’ at the Excelsior or ‘Cocq-au-Vin' at The Peninsula. Now every cuisine from every culture from every nation is available. Steaks, fajitas, tapas, sushi, rendang, laksa, udon, curry, kangaroo. They are all here. And The Nav means every cuisine known to God!

And why? Its because for 3 generations HK Mums and Dads have been sending their kids to other countries to finish their education. And they have come back wordly, wiser, and with a taste for the exotic; whether that be 'mountain oysters', or 'sheep sweet meats', or 'juevos de toro'. Everything is represented in HK. And because of this these children of 'Mao's resistors' have also absorbed the main global party festivals - and they love them!

Christmas, and western New Year, and Valentines Day, and Mother's Day and Father's Day. They are all celebrated, not as an add on to Taosim or Confucianism, but as a way of connecting and spending time with that most valuable possession - family

Hong Kong'ers are like everyone else in this weird, wacky, wired world - they love their friends & family, and they love to have Fun! Across the open air town markets during the week before Halloween there are hordes of people buying for son, daughter, niece, nephew, husband, partner and grand-dad. Everything from vampires to witches to werewolves. It is a week of excitement that climaxes with "Trick or Treat" on the night - the little one's of Hong Kong carrying sacks of sweets Santa would be sanguine about, dental appointments the following week spiking for the year. And the adults then later partying to sunrise in "The Fong" and "The Wanch" - black eyed and bruised or not!

And everyone in Hong Kong of all ages, ethnicities, and incomes gets involved. Because Halloween is one of the few times that you are able to really show off your fashion-sense and your fetishes and nobody thinks twice about them. In other cities you might get mugged or arrested if you were wearing fish-net stockings. In Hong Kong CEO’s, industrialists, and leading entrepreneurs don’t bat an eye-lid - either as an admiror or as an admiree. Because in this town as they say, anything goes !

This is The Nav. Hoping that 'Guy Fawkes' never reaches Hong Kong - for the sake of the Legco Building

Love in Asia the Final Chapter - When Worlds Collide

In chapter 1 of this tome, The Nav took you through the challenge that is winning a successful date with the divine Ms X in his search for true love in Asia

In chapter 2 The Nav shared with you the exhausting joys of being smitten, and how life, the Earth, and the Universe all become just bit players as one is inexorably caught up in the excitement of being on the verge of true love in Asia

Sadly here in chapter 3 The Nav will share with you how the move from infatuation to love just "ain't that easy." As his trusty Mum sagely put it, "Infatuation is like a blinding white silk curtain blowing in a sunny warm sea breeze - the sound of the ocean surf close at hand. Love you have to build - brick by bloody brick!" Actually, The Nav’s Mum was responsible for the 2nd part of this opinion, but you our informed reader should get the gist of it

So after a tumultuous few months of passion, and ponderance, and more passion, The Nav put the divine Ms X on a plane home for her long summer holidays - along with that trusty 7 year young human Rottweiler son gnashing at The Nav's knees. With long looks and romantic whispers, he promised that yes, he would fly there and join her for a week - “there” being a developed western country where The Nav would spend a King's ransom that would have paid for two months of golf in Thailand - in his undying devotion to that divine creature

Weeks of tossing and turning and insomnia later, with just one thing on his mind - which wasn't his day job - The Nav used taxis, trains, planes, cars, ferries, maps, and a computerised GPS navigation system to travel further in 26 hours and do more navigational work than Marco Polo did in his life-time; until eventually this wordly gypsy finally found himself at her family’s front door - exhausted

There followed a fabulous - but bloody expensive - week with her clan and their pet canines including that 7 year young human Rotweiller, and The Nav had an absolute ball. But being inexperienced in things to do with love there was one thing that he hadn't factored into the equation, the dreaded 10 year long boy friend - from 10 years ago - still sneaking around in her home town, a candle for her still flickering in his dark. Most men look ahead and seek to conquer life, but most women look back and remember the warm happy times in their past. And against this 10 year assassin of future happiness The Nav had no chance

So after a week of being on an emotional roller coaster, The Nav turned around and re-tread his steps back to home base Hong Kong - mentally drained and bloody confused. Back in Hong Kong there followed phone calls and emails back to the divine Ms X in her home country and all appeared well - until her return. Rushing back from an Indonesia business trip, train home, picking up ‘Monty’ the British Racing Green Mini, The Nav headed back out to the airport to collect and deliver his charges safely to their Sai Wai abode. Flight two hours late due to Typhoon delays, biorhythms at a low on a late Sunday night, and finally there they were. Loading Monty with enough bags to supply Rommel in the Siege of Tobruk, the mini pocket rocket of metal, humans, and baggage shot down the Hong Kong motorway to her home

Safely arrived, The Nav like an Afghani camel driver up and down stairs, delivering all that baggage to her 2nd story abode, a quick few beers and then shunted out the door, he wasn't sure what was going on

Within the week, brief local phone calls, terse and tense, words of passion crushed, and finally her phone slammed down in his ear - twice. So that was that. The end of the end. A few further quiet dinners as "friends", The Nav listening to how Ms X would always love her 10 year lover - but she could never go back to him despite his pleadings when she was recently there with him. The Nav thinking so this is how some people make millions - writing self-help books on how to try to understand women, that thing which is more complex and more confusing than the wiring system in an Airbus A380 Super Jumbo

Cracked but not crushed, hurt but not handicapped, The Nav remained morose - for a few weeks. Then it was off for golf week-ends in Pattaya and Phuket, beach holidays in Bali, sailing regattas in Hong Kong, and theatre and dinners and balls. Because at the end of the day life, the Earth, and the Universe don't stop - and there is much more writing that needs to be done to explain "how this earthly worm turns" to you our loyal reader

What would The Nav have done differently had he been faced with this Everest-like challenge ? Well as a good friend in ‘Godzone’ country opined “while we have a tendency to say we learn a lot through these ‘trials’, I inevitably find that had we had the opportunity again knowing what we know, that we would do the same thing again. The difference between man and rats I think.” Sage words from a sage muse

In summary what has The Nav learned from this tale of love FUBAR ? Don't fight the past. But if you do, use arsenic

This is The Nav. Measuring himself up for prison garb

A Burglary in Bangtao Beach - Thai Style!

In almost nine years of travel in Asia, The Nav has never been burgled. Well, on a recent visit to a friends place in Phuket this would all change !

For anyone who has been to Bangtao Beach on the West Coast of Phuket, the words "Beach Heaven" come to mind. Here is an 8 kilometre long sandy white beach – the 2nd longest on Phuket - in a crescent shaped bay, protected from the worst weather blown in from the blue Indian Ocean by headlands at both the northern end and at the southern end

The thing with Bangtao Beach is not the 4 and 5 star resorts backing onto the water, it’s not the sports available such as jet skiing and water-skiing and horse-riding and golf and tennis and cycling amongst others. What really strikes The Nav about the place is that if you stay with friends there, they see you as a bank ATM for betting purposes – constantly handing over 50 baht bank notes - as you get taken to the sporting cleaners by these regular residents regularly practicing these available sports rigorously and religiously

On a recent long week-end holiday visit to this locale to stay with friends at their new villa, The Nav was literally taken to petty cash financial armageddon over the course of 4 days by the villa’s owners and their two lovely but street-wise children James and Jennifer. These artful dodger adolescents are referred to here as the “burgling beagles” by the writer of this depressing account of ‘a bet too far’

Some examples of The Nav’s financial losses ? The morning of his arrival, he was “invited” to enjoy an easy game of ping pong in the villa’s garage. 30 minutes later - sweat glistening in his groin, lungs desperate for oxygen, water for rehydration cannily unavailable behind the high secure villa walls – and what was the game score? ‘Mrs Sai Taan Villas #1 Owner’ four games, The Nav nil. Interestingly although The Nav didn’t notice it until much later, the villa’s ping pong table was set up outside so that rogue ping pong balls would roll down the driveway and out towards the four lane Thai back road just outside the front gate; with “Mrs Sai Taan Villa #1 Owner” yelling a la Forrest Gump - "Run Nav, Run!" when he went to retrieve a rogue ping pong ball – constantly targeted by local vehicles, elephants, and the like

The same day a round of golf at the ‘Laguna Phuket Golf Club’, which gently undulates around the stunning ‘Bangtao Banyan Tree Resort’. The Nav teamed up with his fellow guest and new Irish mate "George" - aka "George" - against ‘Mr & Mrs Sai Taan Villas #1 Owners’ in an 18 hole match-play round of golf. Final score 7 and 6 - an absolute shellacking (The Nav's Ed Note : In golf match-play, best ball lowest score for each team after applying handicaps wins the hole. ‘7 and 6’ means 7 holes won with 6 holes left to play. Termed "a thrashing" in any other sport)

Then later, when these same host Dad and Mum were tired and exhausted, they set their little “burgling beagles” onto The Nav and “George”. Pool lilo races, under water breathe holding swimming races, marathon ping pong matches - best of 15 games - your writer constantly a loser and looking like a dessicated prune after a day of sporting endeavours with this "Band of Bangtao Burglers". The kids later slurping on delicious Italian gelato ice cream – bought at the local Bangtao shopping center down the road and paid for from the illicit sports gambling winnings from their guest ‘Uncles’ – ie. The Nav and "George”

But the pain did not end there. Oh no it did not end there. After days of coercing and pestering by the little “burgling beagles”, The Nav, his mate “George”, and a wisened ‘Mr Sai Taan Villa #1 Owner’ were all dragged to the magnificent ‘Laguna Beach Resort’ swimming pool nestled right down on Bangtao Beach itself. Your writer was ‘softened up’ by Dad and the “beagles” with timed runs down the exciting water slide – more baht lost – a lazy swim around the catacombs inside the pool complex, and then before you could yell “Ronny Biggs” !”, those “burgling beagles” were at it again ! Despite our very best efforts, The Nav and “George” were despatched sports-wise in water polo (lost 5 – 3), water basketball (lost 3 – 1), and water wallets (empty)

But the coup de grâce on The Nav’s financial fecundity came that evening when the little “burgling beagles” switched strategy from activity-based competition to cerebrally-based competition. Now The Nav doesn’t know about you our reader, but after a day of strenuous exercise, little nourishment, and several beers, his main physiological calling is for food then a pillow. There is little left in his bodily larder to enable mental sharpness, with the mind more a blunt, bludgeoning instrument than a rapier-like information processor. And the “beagles” knew it !

In the car on the way to dinner in Phuket Town the famous game of “Alphabet Subject” was played, where one competitor – for the whole of that evening the “beagles” made the subject choices (The Nav’s Ed Note : Enough said !) – chooses a subject and then the alphabet is cycled through where each competitor must name an article under that subject, be it a country, a capital city, or a make of car etc. Well The Nav knew this would not be his day when he was asked to name a country starting with “x” and on his next turn “q”, a mode of transport beginning with “d” and on his next turn “y”, and these amongst other intellectual conundrums he was forced to face in this his petty cash ‘End of Days’

So that was that. A long week-end, fabulous food, five star lodgings, amazing surroundings, and finally to the airport but forced to sit – on top of all the bags, wind whistling through his fingers as he held on for dear life - in the back of the Isuzu flat-back truck because The Nav was flat-broke. Those little “burgling beagles” smiling away in front in the air-conditioned, comfortable, stereophonic enclosed passenger cab – counting their winnings

The Nav’s most significant piece of advice about this chapter on petty cash financial armageddon ? If you visit your friends in Thailand, take lots of 50 baht bank notes!

And you never, ever, ever, ever, ever stay with friends in Asia and trust them with details of your superannuation. You are merely a chip to be won and then squandered on lashings of gelato ice cream

Again The Nav is signing off. A new proponent of the cashless society. Out